Checking In

[B. Greene]

As always, thank you. I’m trying but it is a really rough road. I can’t stand the thought of being around people yet and acting like everything is perfectly ok when it sure as hell isn’t, or seeing someone and start bawling. The UPS man thought I was insane but he handed me the death certificates and I just lost it.

I’ll check out your suggestions and see about these workshops. I will get it together!!!!!

[Bec]

Dear Barbara,
You and Ron have been in my prayers. I will continue to pray for you and your family. I just saw post today. I have been dealing with my daughter who can not walk due to back injury (she has mild cp). She is doing better.

Just take care of you and keep the great memories.

Bec

[bper]

Hi Barbra,

My thoughts are with you.

My Mom did those Hospice workshops and it seemed to help. For me, I trained for a marathon and raised funds to find a cure for this awful disease. Kinda a win-win situation…I took my frustations out running and got in shape, and I gave a whole bunch of $ for leukemia research.

Beth in Ohio

[Suzanne]

Beth, what a wonderful thing to do! Many thanks!

[Terri]

Barbra, you are still in my thoughts and prayers, think of you so often. You can feel anyway you want, cry, laugh and you owe no one apologies for it. I wish there were some magic words.

Way to GO Beth- I am participating in the Night the Light for the Leukemia society. Not sure about running. But I am putting together a team and see how we do.

[Sad About Dad]

My mom’s friend offered her to go to a grieving group. But my mother refused.

She thinks that going will hold her back from getting over my fathers death and getting on with her life. I think she should go.

But I also have told her not to feel guilty about being sad. She cries all the time.

I don’t blame her she has been with him for 41 years of marriage.

There is no shame in crying. So what if you make someone uncomfortable. You are already uncomfortable. Your whole life has changed.

The hospice workshop sounds like a great idea.

It would be nice to talk to strangers who are going through the same thing. Maybe they can make you feel better about the way you are feeling.

Grieving is process. You don’t go through the process it will hit you hard sometime.

Let it flow and don’t feel guilty. Crying is part of the process. So is anger.

[Walden’s wife]

Dear Barbra, as one who is still processing the grief after 7 months, I can promise you that it seems sort of easier at times. I have a new granddaughter, Erin Rose, born March 10th. Walden knew a baby was on the way before he died and it seemed so bittersweet to hold Erin in the first few minutes of her life, knowing that 18 months earlier Walden was in that same recovery room holding her big sister Bridget Ann. The joy of the family going on and growing without him is the hard part. We try to recall the laughter and fun. Humor and joy are the antidotes to grief. Marie

[John in GR]

I found a lot of help from the book “A Grace Disguised” when I was working through the death of my brother and law partner which occurred last November. I strongly recommend it.

John

[Terri]

Barbra, It is so good to have our dear friend back occassionally posting. You have been in my thoughts so often, You have helped all of us so much with your array of knowledge and compassion. I wish I could give you the same back.
God Bless you,

[LRG]

Hi all,
After a couple of weeks of the workshop, I find that all of these “lost” feelings, feeling like your “losing your mind”, anger, and guilt are the same with every person sitting in that room. Like I said, I lost my father, which is no where near the same as losing a spouse, but everyone has/had the exact same feelings. On one hand, I have learned that I am “normal” and on the other hand, all the chaos with the hospitals and doctors is the same everywhere. So I find myself being able to get past some of the anger that came from the doctors and nurses. We did address our problems and anger to them about our personal situation with Hospice, she was extrmemly upset and swore she would get to the bottom of it. In all honesty, its over, my dad has passed, nothing will ever change the fact of what a horrible situation we had so I’m not real sure what she can do for us. But we will see.
John, I did reccomend that book to my stepmom, she read it and liked it. I have it sitting on my desk to read next.

TAke care,
Lori

[KATHY1]

I just want you all to know that since my mom passed away in October I continue to visti the forum and occasionally post as part of my grieving process. Through all of you I have learned so much more about this illness which has helped me get past the anger I felt toward her hemotologist. I know now that she actually was one of the lucky ones. She did not go through any horrible suffering. I thank you all for passing along your stories, your knowledge and perhaps most importantly your humor.

Kathy

PS. I still feel anger toward the ER doctors. I don’t think that will ever go away. I just deal with it.

[Author]

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