IF you're prepared

[Jimbob]

I was sent this first by a friend and then within a few minutes by my brother and stem cell donor. Both told me that they felt that I was an example to them of one who could sleep through a storm. I don’t quite feel that way but decided to pass it on.
Check out this site:
http://www.hall4bc04.org/Storm.htm

[Terri]

Thanks Jimbob,

[gemloyear]

Jimbob, Thanks so much, I really needed that, as I know I’m not prepared.
Ellie

[Dennis]

How can you ever adequtely prepare for what we’re going through? I’m trying to come to grips with it all, and even with faith, it’s not easy.

Seems that for 52 years of my life I was invulnerable, like Superman — just couldn’t fly as well. Then one day, they said, “oh, by the way, you have MDS. . .” and all of the sudded the “S” fell off my chest. Can’t get the darn thing to stick anymore.

D

[Jimbob]

Dennis, that is why I did not quite feel that way but sometimes, regardless of our limitations and defects, we just have to have enough faith that our God can do what we cannnot and that we are being led in the right direction. Making the right choices is up to us.

[Caroline]

AMEN Jim.

Blessings,
Caroline

[uno grasshopper]

Dennis, you are so funny! But I agree! I remember when I got diagnosed with AA, and all the constant lousy blood tests and blood transfusions. The first thought was the tests were mistakes, run them again! But as each test revealed the truth, I thought, “How can I live like this? I’ll never be able to trust my body again that all is well.” It was very unsettling. I hated to get transfused, and would be anxious with each passing day thinking that each day brought me closer to another transfusion. I hated the PICC line hanging out of my arm because it was a constant reminder that I was severely sick. Just as I was starting to think that maybe a lifetime of transfusions was my lot in life, my hgb just started to hover. Granted, it was hovering very low (in the mid to low 7s), but at least is wasn’t dropping anymore. As time marched on, my blood counts continued to ever so slowly improve to now. It’s been over 5 years since my last blood transfusion, and I hardly even think about it anymore. I look at my journal entries from then and compare them to now, and they are so different. Six years ago, each daily entry mentioned something about my blood condition. Now, I rarely mention my blood condition in my journal. I seem to have gained confidence back again, something I couldn’t see happening. Of course I don’t feel as invincible as before (experience beats reality in to us sometimes), but sure feel pretty darned good again. So, I’m hoping that soon you can stick that “S” back on your chest with a few stripes on your sleeve as well.

Take care,

Marla

[Dennis]

Marla,

I found your website the other day and spent a lot of time on it. It was really uplifting and inspiring. It’s great to see that there is something on the other side of this illness. Thank you for sharing.

I can appreciate what you said about every entry mentioning the illness. Sometimes I have days where I only think about it once or twice, but for close to a year not one day has been free of thoughts about this unwelcome change in my life. I look forward to a day when maybe a whole day or two can pass without some reminder of it.

D

[Jerry]

Hey Dennis …

I used to continually think about this too until I found that filling my day with other things took my mind off it even for a little bit. For example, I go to the pool and watch the kids and enjoy their frolocking … Debbie and I buy movies (current one to watch is Pink Panther with Peter Sellers … “that’s not my dog !”) and try to amuse ourselves. I really enjoy myself when I cut the grass on my tiny John Deere and I try to take as much time as possible doing it.

When we travel, I rarely think of this … so go up to Sedona and look at the Red Rocks …

Enough from me … Jerry

[Kathy G]

Thank you Jimbob – I lost my Dad In Dec, my dog in Feb and my cat in June – all have been so difficult but I recently came to grips with it all and after reading this I now understand why – only by the grace of God am I still able to go on.

May God bless all of you.

Kathy G

[uno grasshopper]

Hi Dennis:

I’m glad you found my website helpful. I realise most people wouldn’t go the route I chose, but I thought it would be nice to share anyway.

But back to the idea of daily worry over this disease, I do believe that our mental outlook has some impact on our health. As you may already know, there are some studies which show that depression suppresses the immune system, and happiness actually boosts the immune system. So I did “struggle” to find things that made me laugh and make me think happy thoughts. For example, my family would find funny movies (I loved Waking Ned Divine), and my dad got a karaoke machine which was hilarious cuz we were all so bad, but everyone wanted to try. LOL Well, a couple people were good enough to encourage us to continue, but enough were bad enough to have us rolling on the floor. So I do want to encourage you to find “fun” things to occupy your time, whatever it is, even if it’s travelling. But regarding travelling, I would caution to be careful to “rest” enough. Travelling can be very exhausting depending upon how you plan your itinerary. And with our condition, I believe that we need to get enough nutrients in to heal and repair, as well as rest enough to help the body do those things. (The old, “You can’t fix a car while you’re driving it” thing).

One last comment from the view of looking “back.” I have thought that if I had only known that I was going to get better, I wouldn’t have worried so much. I would have known, that oh, July 6 will be my last transfusion, so just bite my time. But in real life, we can’t see the future, and regardless of whether I was going to get better or not, no ounce of worry would have made my life any longer or better. So basically, I realise now that I “wasted” many days by worrying. I could have spent more days being happy, and enjoying what I could have of each day. I don’t know if that makes any sense to you, but it’s just another thought regarding trying to focus on good and happy things. If you’re religious, I think it is also a Biblical concept. But that’s another topic!

Well, don’t want to ramble too much! LOL Take care and enjoy your trip!

Marla

[Jerry]

Dennis …

I think Marla is really onto something about worrying. My Dad taught me that if you have a problem to worry about there are 2 things you can do. 1. Fix the problem and not have to worry about it any more. 2. If there is nothing you can do to fix the problem, quit worrying about it because there is nothing you can do about it. So, a convoluted way of saying that worrying is an unnecessary waste of time and effort. (Now, I am gonna worry that this made no sense in writing!) Hope this helps a bit. Now where did I put that Pink Panther movie?? Hmmmmmm…

Jerry

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