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camiboxer
MemberPrior to my dad being dx’ed with MDS he had a quad bypass. That experience made him want to change his lifestyle. He wasn’t a smoker but never exercised and had a terribly poor diet.
The quad was in 2000 and for a year he didn’t eat enough. He picked up on what was healthy, easy to make, inexpensive and only ate a few various items. That choice wasn’t healthy either. A year after surgery he began eating much better….making better choices and exercising daily. He was feeling & looking great.
As time passed he eventually stopped exercising. Not a good choice but in his defense he had chosen to walk and ended up needing surgery on both feet (which he refuses to have). Long term walking as exercise for him is painful and so he doesn’t. He could try other forms of exercise but for whatever reason he won’t.
His healthy eating has slipped way off. He still eats healthy things but has added not so good choices to the mix and sometimes eats too much of the bad stuff.
For about 4 years I was the food & exercise police. It was so exhausting for me and strained our relationship. I was calling daily to see what he was eating….how much he weighed….how long he stayed on the treadmill. I know it more than likely bugged him even though he never said anything. We both knew I was doing it out of love & worry.
MDS struck last year. I still worry about what he eats/doesn’t eat and secretly cringe when he talks about being out and hitting a fast food drive-thru. But you know what? None of what I say matters. He, (like everyone else) will do what they want no matter who tells them what.
Being mad at your father will only stress you out, hurt his feelings and make you both miserable. You both need to focus on the bigger picture. He needs not to worry about disappointing you and do all he can to fight this disease. You need to be there for him in any way he needs you to be—without judgement.
Smoking is terribly bad for an otherwise healthy person. It for sure is not doing him any favors in his current condition. But the reality is…..it’s not your call. He needs your support, not your anger, no matter where it is coming from. I know why you feel like you do but you can’t physically force-blackmail-belittle anyone into doing something they don’t want to do. All you can hope and pray for is that he decides to make the decision to stop on his own, for his own reasons. Telling him how you feel and why is one thing he needs to hear. He is an adult and I’m sure he knows that smoking is bad.
Take a deep breath, slow down with the worry and enjoy your dad for as long as you have him…..smoking or not. Stress isn’t going to work in either of your favor.
MemberPatty & Neil,
Thank you both for your thoughts and words of encouragement.
Dad sees his hemo every 3 months and his family dr every 4-6. Somehow he has it scheduled that he is seeing someone every other month! He also takes care of his teeth, see’s a dentist every 6 months for cleaning and does everything they tell him to do.
He has a pretty good regime in place supplement-wise due to his heart issues. He takes a multi-vitamin (minus iron), eats plenty of fresh fruit daily, folic acid, flax oil and flax seed daily. Heart healthy nuts, low fat diet and stays positive.
He is severly lacking in the exercise dept. He did so well for about 4 years after his by-pass and was either outside walking his property (50 acres) or on the treadmill for 45 minutes a day. Sadly his feet have developed problems that would require surgery to HELP (not fix), and he has declined. So he gets little if ANY exercise other than normal daily movement. He isn’t a “couch potato” too much but he could do a lot more than he currently does.
I have tried to get him moving in other ways but he is fearful of using his arms too much due to his pacemaker. He has already had the lead wires come loose and had to undergo another surgery. The dr’s have him pretty limited in that area as well. His weight limit is a gallon of milk, or 9 pounds. So he is going to have to get his strength from God and he has enough faith to go around so I can only pray that this sustains him.
Thanks again!MemberMy dad (RARS) was a truck driver (semi’s) for 30 years. Around diesel fuel daily.
MemberFrom a “newbie” to this forum AND to this disease I thought I would share my own 5 cents (inflation).
When my dad was diagnosed I was devastated, then I found you. Personally, I don’t give a rats A$$ about what drugs/treatments are mentioned or if one thinks MDS patients need to visit the moon in order to find some peace. What I do care about is the fact that people who have already traveled a little farther down the path than my dad are willing to share how they got there. If someone took their meds in the evening VS. in the morning, I WANT TO KNOW! I can’t research something AND make my own informed decision if I have never heard of it before.
*Most* people are seeking not only advice and experiences but hope. If people argue or disagree, so be it. That only shows passion and passion is a great motivator. So bicker if you will it should be expected as an outlet for so much distress this terrible disease places on those living with it and others like me who have a loved one that I am trying to help.
I read this forum daily. I don’t understand about 90% of what I read but if you look at it from my perspective I have gained 10% MORE knowledge than I had the day I signed up. As with anything else. Use the knowledge you understand, research what you don’t and try to make 2+2=4.
And to the original poster of this thread. I am so very sorry for your loss. I know your grandfather will be missed but will also make a really great angel for you and the rest of your family. I wish nothing more for you and your family this holiday season than peace.
MemberHard to live in Ohio and NOT be a football fan. It is nearly a requirement….I think they put something in our water. HAHA
Thanks for all the well wishes. Yesterday was a good day. Now if I can only get my dog free of cancer…a story for another board I suppose.
Great news about Hawaii Jerry. Got any extra room in your suitcase? Have a great time. When OSU is playing in the championship game I will be thinking about you relaxing in the sun with a nice drink. A little umbrella in it is a requirement!MemberWelcome fellow Buckeye! Sorry for the route you had to take to get here. This forum is filled with a great group of caring and wonderful people who will be able to provide you with a lot of answers. Read thru the previous posts (days worth!) and you will be well under way to learning how to help yourself in this dreadful disease.
I can’t offer you any info on the impacts of MDS in regards to the AML but others will surely be able to offer valuable info.MemberI understand your anger. Been there. Your reaction is normal. A sort of self preservation during times of grief. Eventually the anger will be replaced with memories of happier times. Allow yourself to feel all of the emotions that comes with the pain. Only way to get past it is to live thru it. I am so very sorry for your loss. Take care of yourself and remember to breathe.
MemberDad’s EPO levels are slightly elevated, (explained to us as they are doing their job so nothing required to jump start-“wake-up” the kidneys to produce more)?
I plan on busting Dad next week at the Dr’s appt when he tells them “Everything is fine! I feel perfectly normal”, “I can do anything I want to do, if I am tired I take a nap”, “Totally normal at my age (66), to slow down a bit”.I can already hear him as this is his normal response. I don’t really think he gives it much thought. He wouldn’t be interested in some product he saw on TV if he didn’t have a symptom it claimed to help. I feel like I am on “Dad police patrol”.
MemberMy dad was DX’ed this year at age 66. His numbers had been off for at minimum a year so we suspect he has had it longer.
MemberWell dad talked to his hemo nurse today and they said to go ahead with it. He did and he said it didn’t even hurt this time. :p
I am such a worrier…..I need to work on that.MemberJerry,
What a beautiful and giving way to honor Dennis. I am sorry that you were not feeling well recently. Hopefully things are looking up for you now.
Very sad news about Dennis. May his family stay strong and may he forever be remembered for his obvious love of life and wit.MemberStill no-go for being able to sign the guest book. I get to the actual page where I can see the area for signing but nothing I type shows up! Will keep trying and of course praying that he is doing well.
MemberI can get to the screen to leave a message only I can’t leave one! Hopefully it is just a bug and will get worked out soon.
I have thought about him all day today. I know everything is going to go wonderful!MemberMy dad was also initially diagnosed with macrocytic anemia. Only after the BMB was he diagnosed with MDS (rars and still waiting on chromosome test results).
His RBC have been at 11.5 for the past year + and just last month dropped to 10.5.
He feels fine, says he isn’t tired and continues to enjoy the heck out of life.
So far no meds or any other forms of treatment required or initiated.
We are also in Ohio. I am in Westerville, he is in McArthur (southeastern Ohio). He is seeing a Dr at The James.
Best of luck to you and keep us posted.MemberWhen going to the site, you have to remove the “period” at the end to gain access. Hope that makes sense?
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