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Nicole,
It’s good to hear from you, too! Thanks for the well wishes. I got a good one so I know our lives will be rich
. I guess I’m a peace. I mean, I KNOW all of these things but it still hits me hard from time to time. How are you doing? It’s been a little over a year for you, too, right?
I haven’t talked to Kathryn in a while. I will see if I can reach her.
Love,
CarrieQuote:Originally posted by riley:
Hi Carrie!It’s so good to see your post! Best wishes to you and your soon-to-be husband! I expect that you’ll see a moth again on your wedding day.
Beautiful words of wisdom that you shared. You sound like you’re at peace, which is so good to hear.
Do you keep in touch with Kathryn? I hope she’s doing well too.
Nicole
Susan,
I won’t lie. It’s not easy because I miss him so much.
Here are some things that helped me:
– Knowing that he was ready to go. He was always so scared and worried about dying until he knew that there was no other option. Then, peace, happiness, and faith overcame the fear. His body was failing him but his spirit was SO much stronger than that and needed to be free.
– Faith. I’m not sure what you believe but if you believe like my family does that a higher power has greater things for us then it becomes a little easier to deal with. My faith has grown stronger in the last year.
– After my grandmother died, someone said to me “Remember that energy cannot be created nor destroyed.” We are energy which means that we existed before we were born and, somehow, we continue when we die. If you think of it that way, everyone’s energy is still out there
. If you have ever been present when someone died, you’ll know what I mean. It’s very powerful and the energy in the room during and after the death is very strong.– It’s cliche but it’s true that everyone who dies lives on in our memories and in us. I have memories of every aspect of him and I can recall him at any minute of the day. I also have videos of him but I haven’t really had the courage to watch them yet (except for the day that he died).
– Support. Talk to people who are going through it with you or who went through it before. It really helps to know that the things you’re feeling, thinking, dreaming, are common in grief. Everyone suffers grief so almost anyone can be an ear
. The heartache will always be there but it won’t be as constant as when the loss is fresh. It still hits me from time-to-time and probably will all of my life. My father himself could not talk about his grandmother without crying. I always felt weird about that but I know that feeling now and I totally relate!
I hope this helps…
CarrieThank you
.
If I see a moth fly by, I will have to repair my makeup! I’m very tempted to forego the makeup I’ll be crying all day anyway
.Thank you all! Yes, it has been a year already. It went by so fast!
My shower was a lot of fun! It kept our minds off the anniversary a little bit.
I have a nice little story for you, though. Before dad died, his skin was peeling and someone said that he was turning into a butterfly. He told them, no, he was going to be a beautiful moth.
After the mass said in honor of dad, while we were talking to the priest, a moth landed on my shoulder and looked up at me. My whole family was excited by it.
But afer I looked down at it, the priest frantically shooed him away. Apparently, he’s freaked out by moths! LOL! He felt really awful when we told him the story
. 
It was nice to think it might be him saying hello.
Well, I’d better get back to work. Thank you again for your support
.Love,
Carrie
