coping with loss of husband, Ed…one year ago

[bety]

Because of low platelets, Ed essentially bled to death. He required too many platelet transfusions and blood transfusions to keep him going. I am grateful that I was allowed to sleep on a cot, next to him, the last couple of weeks of his struggle in the hospice unit. He never complained.
There are feelings of guilt…I may have done more to help his condition. My children, grandchildren, friends, etc. keep me going. Also, mail, bills, obligations that Ed took care of are now my burdens. I still try to focus on the great years we had together. These memories help ease the pain. All the best, bety

[katydid]

Bety – I am crying for you – you could not do anything except what you did – be with him right to the time he had to leave – believe what your family are saying to you
If I have to die like your Ed died then I will die remembering just how much my family loved me – so Bety – remember that ok – Ed knows that you were there – and if I am any judge of it – Ed – like me – would want you all to live big and laugh a lot and remember us always xx Cathie

[Mary4Mike]

Dear Bety,

I am so sorry to read of Ed’s passing. Your posts have always been helpful and comforting to others and I noticed that you hadn’t been on the forum for quite awhile.

I hope that each day brings you more peace. Your past posts showed that were you a wonderful caregiver and wife to Ed. You were with him every step of the way. What more can a spouse ask for and what more can a spouse do?

Our thoughts and prayers are with you. Take comfort in your children and grandchildren. It sounds as though you have been richly blessed.

Mary and Mike

[jaxem]

bety
my wife passed about 10 months ago. I, too, have feelings of guilt in that I always pressed to do more than maybe should have been done including a last gasp effort at a clinical trial far from home that lasted 6 weeks and only seemed to prolong her misery. This tears me up more than anything in her 3 year effort in fighting the disease. The thought of her in a wheelchair in her last 3 months is agonizing to me. I’m hoping time will help me live with these thoughts. All the best to you.

[drinaldi]

bety..

my husband died on may 8th of this year also from internal bleeding. he was 67 years old and we were married for 42 years. his condition was a combination of mds and mpd. no matter what we tried, we could not control his counts. they were preparing him for a cord transplant, but everything just ended so quickly.

although there were many times i read of someone losing their mate, there is no way to comprehend what this really means. i have no words of comfort but, from reading your posts, i know what a fortunate man your husband was. you lovingly did everything you could for him. these diseases rob us of control.

may your memories comfort you. my prayers are with you.

[lynette]

Hi Bety
It does not seem to get any easier. we are coming up on three years since my Mother passed away, and still I have nightmares of the last days I spent in the chair next to her in the hospital. Even the good memories seem too painful at times. You’re in my thoughts. Stay strong. Lynette

[Sandi1]

Dear Bety,

I haven’t been on the site for a while. I can’t believe it has been two years since my dad passed (Aug. 3). I recall that you did all you could for your Ed as evidenced in your posts.

My mother went to NY Hospital with dad each and everyday and knows that she too did all that was humanly possibly. I think you have a very similar tale.

Mom too was left to take on the responsibilities that dad had.Some days it can overwhelm. She recalls too how difficult his life had become. But now he is at peace.And that is what I am wishing you.

-Sandi

[choijk]

Bety,

I’m so sorry for my late response. I am regretful that I haven’t been on the site sooner to read this post. Please accept my deepest condolescences. You were an amazing wife and a wonderful advocate for your husband.

June

[Mary4Mike]

June,

Where have you been? I hope that things are going well with you and your father. Is he holding his own? Is he currently receiving any treatment?

As you can see by my signature, we are getting ready to embark on the transplant journey. Everyone on this sight is in our prayers.

Mary

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