Update…

[karenkay]

Well, I didn’t sleep for about 40 hours and finally crashed and burned. I then got 8 hours of sleep and some of my mind back. Don’t worry everyone. I will take care of myself, this is just a difficult time.
My dad, in hospice, had a pretty good day on Wed. My husband and kids came to see him and although he cried, they were happy and bittersweet tears.
Thursday he was very weak and at first just wanted Cluade and I to leave. He was very cranky and didn’t want me there fussing. Fair enough. We left for a few hours and came back. He was calmer and wanted to have our compay.
Thursday, or should I say early Fri morning (1:30 this morning), Kathy’s flight came in. I picked her up at the airport, and after a quick stop at the hotel she went to see my dad for a few minutes. He was so happy to see her and she handled everything with grace and love. I was so scared she would be disappointed in me, a very irrational thought.
Today I got some more good sleep and I will go back up to Boise today.
Dad is starting to let go. It is heartwretching. Yet, there is humility and love all over. I have never helped a person die before. But I have resolved that now that it is his time, I will do anything I can to help him have a wonderful death. I haven’t asked a medical question in days and when I have spent the last 4 months consumed with MDS, it makes me feel lost.
It may sound strange, but I am proud of my dad. He is showing courage and love.
I know my posts have been sad, but I want to tell all of you I have HOPE. I see the hand of God everywhere, and I am letting my dad be in that hand. At least I am trying.
Please keep the prayers going for him. God Bless all of us.
karenk

[Ensnee]

Karen, thanks for the update. It’s very sad, but something we all need to learn to do at some point. I hope your dad is not too uncomfortable.

prayers to you all,
Esme

[sugarwhale]

Dear Karen,
Best wishes to you. You are certainly in our thoughts and in our hearts. Whatever happens, you surely know that you can come to us here. Your responsibility now is to make your dad proud of you; I’m sure he is! We’re thinking of you and your dad, Karen.
~~~ Janet

[CarolineG]

Karen,

I am so very sorry.

This is one of the hardest things that you will ever have to do. You are doing a remarkable and honourable job. Your Dad is very proud to have you at his side, I am sure. My thoughts and prayers are with you, your Dad, your family and Kathy. I only wish that there was more that I could do.

Blessings,
Caroline

[karenkay]

Well, today (Friday) my dad had a very good day. He didn’t eat, but he drank a lot!! And he was so happy to see Kathy and he was more himself than I have seen him in weeks. Although my kids are sick, I had them disinfect their hands and wear masks and we had a Christmas party with him (my kids couldn’t stay long because of the colds). We opened presents and listened to Christmas music and Santa came by. Since he is at hospice at the VAMC (Veteran’s Hosp.), it is so full of volunteers and people there have been overall great!!
Tomorrow, he will probably be exhausted and there will be some ups and downs along the way, but I am happy for this day.
My dad has also had some spiritual healing which I am so happy for!!
I hope you will continue to pray for us. The path we are on is a hard one.
Tomorrow, I am taking the day off unless he takes a sudden turn for the worse. My kids are actually thrilled to have their mom for a day.
Many blessings to all of you,
karenk

[patti]

Karen,

Wishing you a restful day tomorrow! It’s hard to care for a parent (especially with the distance of driving to do). Have a good day tomorrow.

patti

[Jimbob]

Karen,
I am glad that you are doing well and able to handle things as well as you are. It is really tough to go thru what you are, especially at this time of year. You know that we are here for you.

[marylinda]

Dear KarenKaye
I feel for you and am praying for you and your loved ones. I know the pain of losing both parents. My mother suffered terribly from lung cancer and while I wanted her to always be there for me, I was relieved for her when her suffering was over and on one hand I was devastated for my personal selfish loss. My Dad’s death was harder to take as I believe that the doctors simply gave up on him due to his age. He was 83 and became sick. It was a true mess of errors that sicken me to go through. Bottom line though my parents are I believe together basking in God’s love and watching over us.
I am glad that you are proud of your father and recognized the humility and humanity involved in his condition and the love he is getting. You are right to think of giving him a rspectful and good passing. It is so hard. You are strong.
I just got out of the hospital with collaspe lungs and double pneumonia and other complications. I am 54 and have 2 daughters and a 5 year old granddaughter. I try to talk to my daughter about my passing and funeral etc but it is too difficult for them right now. To complicate matter, my life insurance was tied to my work and I was told it would continue to be there but the company was sold and the new company cancelled all my insurances . I’ve been looking into Colonial Penn for funeral coverage. I don’t want my kids burdened. MDS makes everything so difficult but as we learn on this forum, none of us need to go through our pain alone. We have each other and families are wonderful. God be with you. When your Dad seems upset or rile, I’m sure you realize it is his situation and not you and like you, he is frustrated too.

[Kathryn]

Karen, the time you have is a gift and your father is so fortunate to be surrounded with such love.

My thoughts & prayers are with you & yours.

Kathryn

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