My Dad

[lynette]

Hi Katie,
Your Dad’s situation brings back very sad memories of when my Mom was so very ill. She was across the street at NYP. Each day brought something new, and my heart would sink deeper. At times, I would think that I could physically feel it sinking. However, I would not trade being with my Mom during those horrible days and weeks for anything(except a miracle recovery). I know that my presence there was so important to her. Even though she was not always full aware of what was going on–I felt that she knew that I was by her side, and that gave her comfort.
My prayers are with you and your Dad. Blessings upon you for being a wonderful daughter!
Take care,
Lynette

[kls]

Hi Katie,
I agree with Lynette’s posts…..your story seems so familiar. It is hard to think about someone else going through this same situation. I want to tell you that these hard and awful times will turn out to be special times someday(hopefully a long time down the road). You have been there for your Dad. It sounds like you are spending as much time as possible with him. Be proud of yourself!
At the end of my Dad’s life, a Dr. walked into my Dad’s room and saw his entire family standing around him. He said the nicest thing…he told my Dad “You are a rich man, Mr. Lutz, to have such a supportive and loving family.” Those words still bring tears to my eyes, but I know that it is true. My Dad didn’t need anything else in this life. He just needed us to be there. He passed away about 6 hours later.
I’m hoping for a miracle for your Dad. I check often for your story since it reminds me of my Dad. God bless you and your Dad!
Thinking of you,
Kristi

[californiamom]

Hello Katie,

I’ve been reading your posts since you started on this forum. I’m so sorry you, your family and your dad are having to go through this. It’s great that you will be spending all weekend with your dad, talk to him and listen to anything he has to say. Make sure he keeps the fluid intake. I remember my dad saying he thought he would never get out of the hospital, but after we were told there was nothing else to do for him, he said he wanted to go home and we got hospice and a hospital bed the same day and brought him home. The nurses said they’ve never seen a family get things done so quickly, but we wanted to make sure he was coherent when we got him home. I am hoping for the best for your dad, don’t ever think miracles can’t happen. I am thinking of you this weekend.
Kirsten

[riley]

Hi Katie,

I’m sorry for all that you and your dad are going through. It’s good that you’ll be able to spend the whole weekend with him. I’m sure he appreciates that so much. When my father’s doctors told us that there was nothing more that they could do for my father, he said he wanted to come home and he wanted all of us to be with him. The hopsital medical staff helped us to put everything together for a quick discharge with hospice, so we were able to bring my father home within a few hours. They had arranged for him to have oxygen and pain meds at home, so he was comfortable. Our whole family was around him, just as he wanted. His passing seemed painless and it was very peaceful. I have no doubt that your father knows how much you love him. You’ve been there and have been a constant source of support and an excellent advocate for him. No one could have done anything better, Katie. I’m sure that your dad is proud of you and quite thankful for all you’ve done for him. Your father has bounced back from tough situations before. I’m praying for another miraculous rebound for him. And I’m praying for peace and strength for you.

Nicole

[katiebear]

All of you guys are so wonderful, I’m crying as I read your posts. You are so right Lynette, it seems as though you can physically feel your heart sinking. The ups and downs of this disease are just so hard to take. My dad called last night. He has become quite chummy with Liz, who is a physician’s assistant. She told him that the blasts are up to 80%. He told me he wants to come home. Hopefully we will make arrangements asap after we talk to the doctor this morning. It’s weird how sometimes he seems so confused and forgetful and other times he is perfectly clear on what he wants. I guess that’s it for now. I will update as I get news. I can’t thank you guys enough for your support and prayers.

Kate

[choijk]

Katie,
I wish I also had the strong words of wisdom and encouragement as the others have already shared…. but they said it so beautifully I don’t know what to add….I just want you to know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. You are a wonderful daughter….. your father is very proud of you….

[Russ P.]

Katie,
So many beautiful words have been said in the foregoing posts. There is little I could add except for a heartfelt prayer for you and your Dad.
Russ

[sdrake]

Katie,

Your experiences with your dad and this horrible disease have touched more people than you can imagine. You are indeed a wonderful daughter and friend to many. My thoughts and prayers are with your dad and you. Keep the faith.

Shari

[riley]

Katie,

My prayer is for peace for your dad, you, and all in your family. There are so many here who care. You are not alone, and you and your dad are surrounded in prayer.

Love,
Nicole

[poppyshope]

Katie-
Just checking in to see how you are and I know how you are – and Lynette is right your heart is sinking. I look back now and remember my dad wanting to come home and I wanted him to stay and do anything else he could do and he just wanted to see the kids Birthdays. I was so scared that he was giving up hope and he explained to me that just because he was re-directing his hope to now watch the kids blow out their candles, and be at home with us among his things, where he was comfortable did not mean he was giving up. (and he still wanted treatment in fact we were on our way down to NYP to see what else there was when he died) I think about that now and even though he was out for 12 days and most of it spent in the cancer center here in poughkeepsie getting transfusions I am so happy we went ahead and had a huge party for the kids and he sat on the deck with everyone and watched them blow out their candles, and i watch the video and look at the pictures all the time of that day and he was happy- I thank god for that! Katie, listen to dad now he will lead, help him by following – you are a great daughter and that is all he needs now.., and when the time comes you will know what to do just listen to your heart- I was always afraid I would not be strong enough, and that I would fall apart and cry- but I didn’t, and I would not trade those days at Sloane or when he got out with my dad for anything. I am praying for you -keep your hope and if you want you can always re direct it that isn’t losing it – I am sorry for what you are going through I really am-
In my thoughts and prayers, always-Jen
btw- i was reading about your dad’s confusion and the same thing happened to my dad when the blasts increased. The doctor said that these blast are sticky and can adhere to tissue in the brain that combined with my dad’s low RBC , and low Oxygen saturation, made him confused, but he never forgot to ask for back rubs- he was so cute about that the nurses used to laugh that he could not remember his lunch but would remember who he already asked for a back rub from!! Take Care

[jas174]

Katie, My prayers for you and your family. You have given your best, you are a credit to him. May God help you and your family through all of this.

[LuAnn]

Hi Katie,
I just read thru everything you and your dad have been going through. It’s so much for one person to go through, your dad is very strong. My prayers are with you.

[katiebear]

I just want everybody to know that your posts mean the world to me. Everybody here is so wonderful. Finally after a long weekend of waiting, the doctor came in yesterday and said there is nothing more they can do. I couldn’t believe the difference in my dad’s appearance in only a few short days. Every bit of his hair fell out, which we should be used to by now I guess. The leukemia has now infiltrated his skin and he has angry red lumps in many places. They are actually growing bigger everyday. You can hear him wheezing across the room. The fluid problem has gotten worse. Lasix doesn’t really do it anymore. His abdomen is very enlarged. Something is also going on with his gall bladder and he had a sonogram yesterday, which as he put it is like beating a dead horse, because what would they do about it anyway? They are going to send him home to hospice as soon as it is all arranged. Hopefully very soon, as he is afraid he won’t make it home. He said yesterday that he doesn’t care if he’s only home for three hours and then passes, he just wants to be home. The lady that coordinates the hospice came in yesterday and talked to us. She answered my questions. They are sending him home with antibiotics and antifungals and the chemo pill hydrea that will hopefully lower his WBC which is thru the roof again, and perhaps alleviate some of his symptoms. The doctor said it won’t do anything for the blasts, but it might for the WBC. I didn’t think that hospice would administer the chemo pill, but they will. They won’t give blood though.

I guess that’s it for now. Thanks again for all the thoughts, prayers, and support. It is REALLY appreciated.

Katie

[ctmom]

Katie,
I have been thinking about you and your dad all weekend. I just want you to know that you are a wonderful daughter who has been with your dad every step of the way. He must be so proud and comforted by your strength. My dad was diagnosed with MDS in June ’07 and I have followed all your posts and felt that I can really relate to you as a daughter going through the same thing. You and your dad have really touched my life and I want you to know that I am keeping you close in prayer. I hope your dad goes home today and is at peace surrounded by you and your sister. He is such a brave man and has endured so much. Only a father could endure what he has to make more time with you and your family. Katie, you are in my prayers and thoughts. Thank you for keeping us posted.

[poppyshope]

Oh Katie, I am so sorry for you and your dad I feel like I cannot say it enough. I do know what you are going through, I walked this same path 3 months ago. It is just terrible to have to go through this, but being there holding his hand is a gift especially at his own home. I am just so sad for you and will keep you in my prayers. May God bless you and keep you and dad in his care at this time- Jen

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