[Caroline]

Chewgie,

In person I am very shy and don’t say much. I am much better at writing my feelings down on paper. Have you thought about maybe giving your Dad an Encouragement Card and inside let him know how much you love him and how much you and your family wish that he could find his way back to you? Perhaps no words need to be exchanged. If he still wants to continue down the path he has chosen, at least he will know how you feel and you will have the peace of knowing that you told him how much you want him to try to live. I don’t profess to be a professional in this field, but this way of communicating my feelings got through to my Mom. Just be there for your Dad and keep loving him no matter what his choice may be.

Sad for Dad…I am sorry for what you had to go through with your Dad. I am also sorry for your current pain. Some things that we have to endure are just so hard to justify. I hope for your recovery.

Caroline

[Caroline]

My fingers are crossed for you, Luke and Margaret.

Caroline

[Caroline]

Hi Lynne,

My Dad started Procrit recently. We were told that it would take 4 shots until he feels any different, if the shots help at all. He has only had 2 shots so far but I can swear that he seems stronger already. He is definitely eating more. He just left here after our Thanksgiving Dinner and he had 2 plates of food and he even ate some pie for dessert and coffee. This may not sound like much but a month ago, he was here for another celebration and he ate a small piece of meat and only a spoon of vegetables. No dessert and no coffee. Also, Dad normally sleeps about 18 hours a day. Today he got up at 8am and never laid down once until he went to bed at 10pm tonight. I cannot remember the last time he stayed up all day. Nothing else has changed for him except that he began Procrit shots. We have a Dr. appt. on Wednesday. We will find out if the shots have made any difference by his blood test results. I will let you know.

Caroline

[Caroline]

I find myself saying Thank You alot on this forum and I mean it. Without being able to discuss my concerns on here, I would feel very lost.

Thank You.
Caroline

[Caroline]

I agree with what Patti and Sarah have to say.

I wonder if your Dad is trying to protect himself from his fears. I am sure that when he first found out about his illness it scared him terribly and when the Procrit and transfusions didn’t help, it frightened him all the more. Maybe he has convinced himself that he cannot go through the emotional turmoil of finding out that yet again, the past Chemo has not lasted for very long. Maybe he thinks that this past improvement in his condition is only temporary. When the Doctors tell us that a new drug or method may help us, we tend to think positively and assume that it will all go back to normal again. Then, when we relapse or even get worse, we crash emotionally. I know that everytime my parents get a green light, I convince myself that life will soon be back to normal again even though deep down inside I know differently.

Can you talk to him and tell him how you feel and that he is scaring you?

If you are a person who prays, that may help. I know that I will pray for him and for your family.

Does he have Grandchildren? If so,talk to him about how they are looking forward to spending Christmas with Grandpa and how it would be so good if he was strong and healthy for them…if not for himself. For that matter, perhaps you can tell him that YOU need him to be here for you too. I did that with my Mom in the summer when she decided that she did not want a life saving operation. She was just going to let herself die. I told her that I NEED her and PLEASE don’t leave me now….maybe later…but not now. Since then she has made a complete turnabout and waits daily until her operation date is set. Not everyone responds to this but it helped my Mom see that she still has everything to live for.

Good Luck. I will be waiting to hear that your Dad is eating again.

Caroline

[Caroline]

Thanks Sandy,

The only people I discuss any of this with are the people on this forum. I mentioned it to my best friend when we first found out about this nightmare and she acted disinterested and like I was boring her so I decided that this isn’t anyone else’s problem except mine. Both Dad and Mom became terminally ill this summer. I am an only child. God gave me to them to care for all of my life and they did a very good job, even to this very day they always look out for me and my family. Now it is my turn to take care of them to the best of my ability. I am thankful for my very patient husband and 3 teenage children. They are also concerned and help more than I could have imagined. I put my cares in God’s hands. I have quit working and I live only 3 blocks away so I am over there bothering them everyday whether they want me or not.

I am really not as happy go lucky as I may seem. I just find that if I try to make light of some things, it is easier to get through the day.

Blessings,

Caroline

[Caroline]

Kathryn,

You are doing a wonderful thing. I am very sorry that you lost your Dad.

Blessings,
Caroline

[Caroline]

Sarah & Charlie,

Best of luck on your trip. Keep in touch.

Blessings,
Caroline

[Caroline]

Hi All,

Kathryn: Dad has gone off meat altogether. He used to like it but now he only wants sweet things. Since he is Austrian he is used to foods such as crepes, etc so Mom makes alot of that kind of thing for him. Also, I am in a really bad spot. My Mom is a bit put out that I have muscled myself into the middle of this so I have to insist that I go along to ALL medical visits of any kind. She told me today that she doesn’t believe in transfusions and hopes that he doesn’t have any. Her opinion is that ‘you never know what you may pick up.’ I nearly died when she told me that. I tried to reason with her but she would not budge. Now I have even more of a challenge to help my Dad. I had to threaten that if she discourages Dad from having anymore transfusions, I will stop helping her with her medical problems…her’s are very life threating.

Jodi: Dad’s description sounds like your Mother all the way down to the heartburn. He rarely vomits food. His description makes me think it is bile. One of his drugs is Losec. Thank you for checking that out for me. Another thing he does now is wet his pyjamas in the mornings but I think that may be because he had two very large stents inserted in both of his ureters 3 weeks ago so that urine could get around the enormous kidney stones he has on both sides. On the 31st of this month, the stents will be removed and the stones will be removed with laser surgery. Poor Guy! The doctor who is going to replace one of his knees after he recovers from the kidney surgery in 3 weeks told him that if it weren’t for his bad luck, he would have no luck at all. Yes…he is having a knee replacement in winter because he can’t walk much anymore and he needs to go for walks for his bad heart so he has decided that he will have the surgery asap and not wait till better weather. I am moving in with him and Mom while he recovers. If Mom convinces him not to have blood transfusions, I don’t know what we will do. I better mention this all to the oncologist when we go on Wednesday. Guys…I should be the skinniest woman in Ontario with all of the stress of being a referee, make-shift physician, and also worrying sick over the future of both my parents’ health, but alas……

Caroline

[Caroline]

Patti…Eve…Thank You.

Patti…you should be in the business of writing text books. That was so simple to understand. Again, Thanks.

Caroline

[Caroline]

I’ll be praying for Bob next Friday, Terri.

Could you please tell me what kinds of vitamins and supplements Bob takes?

Also, can anyone explain to me what blasts are and how they work?

To all who answered this Eprex/Procrit question of mine…thank you….it wasn’t all that bad learing how to give a needle. It was already filled and ready to inject. Dad gets 40 000 units per week right now. He slept most of the day and then watched the hockey game in the evening. He’s glad to have hockey back again. It is his passion and since he lays down most of the time now, he will have something interesting to watch on television. I am going back next Thursday to watch again and then we will be on our own.

Caroline

[Caroline]

Thanks Patti…Thanks Ellie.

I guess I will go over to Dad and Mom’s house bright and early tomorrow morning, expecting to learn how to give needles. It shouldn’t be too hard. Mom gives herself Insulin twice a day and she is even more squeemish than I am.

Thank you again,
Caroline

[Caroline]

Hi Jody,

My Dad has had 2 BMB’s done so far. One was almost 3 years ago and the second one was this past summer. Both times it took 6 weeks for him to get his results. My husband was at Dad’s visit when they took the latest biopsy and the doctor commented on how frustrating it is that sometimes the results take so long but he has to send them away and the labs are so busy that it takes weeks to get results. I think our’s go to Toronto but I am not sure.

I noticed that everyone who said that their results took one week are from the United States. You and I are from Canada, specifically Ontario. I wonder if that makes a difference? Can any other Canadians shed some light on this?

Caroline

[Caroline]

Ensnee,

My parents are Austrian and they cook with alot of garlic and onion. You may be onto something.

Thank you. Now I have 2 things to check into.

Caroline

[Caroline]

Thank You Harold.

I will check all of Dad’s medicines tomorrow when I see him and I will see if he is taking Digoxin. It isn’t a name I have ever heard him say but it is certainly worth a check.

Caroline

[Author]

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